Intro

Wow.  So here I am.  My first blog.  Feels like I'm taking a big step, but really, I think I'm just using this as a diary.  Why I want everyone to be able to read my diary, I'm not sure.  Hmmm...  This will probably bore a lot of people to death.  I apologize ahead of time if you feel like you have wasted precious moments reading my thoughts and feelings.  This is my little place of honestly.  Not worried about anyone's feelings, but all names will be anonymous.  People can sue you for that shit.  Oh yeah... that's the other thing.  Expect cursing. 

I'm going to start with a little about me.  I'll probably add more tidbits as I think of them.  If you've made it this far, you obviously think I'm absolutely fascinating.  Expect sarcasm, it gets me through the day. Let's see... I am 27 years old, the youngest of 4 kids.  Two brothers, and one sister.  I am 6 years younger then my sister, and my mom says she had me because she wanted one more baby before she was 30.  She may have, but by the time I came along, she definitely didn't have the patience for another.  I was a super sick baby, "cried all the time" and according to dear old mom, if I had "been her first, there never would have been another." Thanks mom... love you too. 

My oldest brother was/is a drug dealer and went to prison when I was 9 for 3 years.  He was my idol, growing up he seemed to be the only person who ever noticed I was in the room.  He is still the brother I am closest too, even though he is the farthest away in age.  He is married with two kids, a boy and a girl.  His wife is awesome, and makes me laugh more then anyone else I have ever met.
 
My next brother god through life on the excuses my mom gave him because he has dyslexia.  I have no respect for him.  He is a drunk, and chose the bottle over his kids and wife (not that she's a walk in the park).  They are "separated" apparently neither one of them have the money for a divorce.  She is living with another another guy, and is claiming her youngest kid his the new guys (which isn't possible, she got pregnant while he was in prison). 

And then there is the sister.  Pregnant when she was 14, drug addict by the time she was 15, and really hasn't gotten her life on track since then.  She's kinda nuts, not all the way there in the head, but most of the time her heart is in the right place.


More about just me.  I was/am a teen mom.  I had my daughter when I was 16 (actually I was 15, it was two weeks before my 16th birhtday), and my son when I was 17.  It was bad enough to make the mistake once, but twice?  I know... stupid right?  I wanted someone to want me.  Even if it was just physical, I was dying for a connection to someone...  Since then, I have done everything possible not to be the statistic.  I joined the Navy, was forced out after 4 years (that's a story for another day), and then got a great paying job.  You'll probably hear me bitch about said job soon.  I do still live with my parents, but it's not the traditional "Live with mom and dad they pay all the bills."  In fact, *we* bought a 4000sqft house together a year and a half ago.  We split the bills in half, and each pay out own shit.  I could afford to live on my own, but I work erratic hours some times, and it's important to me to give my kids every advantage I can.  I wouldn't be able to do as much with them if we lived alone.  So, there are 5 of us in the house, I have my space, they have theirs, and we meet in the kitchen.  :)